Santa's Little Helper
by Milena D
Summary: Going to see the mall Santa is not a suitable experience for teenagers.  Not only is it boring and demeaning, but there's a high probability of being kidnapped if your pseudo-uncle is Daniel Jackson.  That's just how the universe works.


**Title:** Santa's Little Helper  
**Author**: Milena D.  
**Rating**: T/PG-13  
**Genre**: Humour, Family, Romance  
**Pairing/Characters**: Daniel/Vala, Cassie Frasier  
**SPOILERS**: None, it's AU.  
**Summary**: Going to see the mall Santa is not a suitable experience for teenagers. Not only is it boring and demeaning, but there's a high probability of being kidnapped if your pseudo-uncle is Daniel Jackson. That's just how the universe works.  
**Dedicated (last year) to:** **bytheseaside** ! Merry Christmas (again!)

**Author's Note**: This was a fic written last year for the D/V Exchange, I just forgot to post it anywhere but there... :P

* * *

"Daniel, I really don't want to do this." Repeated the girl at his side for the fifteenth time, a hint of desperation now audible to his ears. Daniel had felt bad for forcing her to come since the start but now he was pretty much on the edge of turning around.

"Cassie, your mother wants you to do this. Please just humour her?" He pleaded, understanding a bit how she felt. He didn't know if it was something to do with the fact that he was the only man in sight or if it was because his utter discomfort was completely obvious but he swore everyone was staring at them.

"She's not even here! She won't know!" Cassie cried, before emitting some kind of terrified squeak and darting behind his back. Daniel quickly looked around for the threat but all he could see was a pack of teenage girls shopping and paying no attention to the line leading up to the shopping mall Santa Claus.

"Oh my god, that is Sherry, Shauna and Shanice from school! If I am seen here my reputation is over! Please let's just go! We'll tell her there was no Santa, that there was a fear of the flu going around so they just canceled the whole thing!" She begged of him, holding onto the sleeve of his arm and trying to tug him out of the line.

"Okay, first of all, you are 14, I very much doubt any reputation you have is that susceptible to complete annihilation. And second, I am not conspiring in a lie against your mother." He drawled, unimpressed. He was sympathetic to the potential humiliation she was facing but he wasn't going to encourage her to lie.

Cassie sighed and removed her hand from his arm, crossing hers instead and releasing a heavy sigh that he swore had "jerk" in its breath. "I really don't like you right now."

"You're a teenager, you're not supposed to like any adults." He remarked dryly, wishing that the line would move one day to end this trial when suddenly she was hiding behind his back again.

"Don't move!" She whispered frantically. "They're coming this way!"

The three girls were indeed walking in their general direction. Whether they had heard the commotion or just wanted to get to the other half of the mall, there was a definite proximity fear. To her honorary uncle's credit, he did stand straighter and move his jacket out a bit to more fully shield Cassie from view but if the girls got any closer it would be they would be completely busted. Long out of high school, Daniel still took an unconscious step back when the girls made eye contact with him, but when he didn't bump into anything he turned around to find Cassie gone. A bout of panic seized him as his eyes raked the mall and found no sign of his niece.

"Cassie!" He called out, leaving the line they'd been parked in for the better part of the morning. "Cassie! Cass-" Without warning, the door of Santa's shed burst open and he was forcefully pulled inside.

"Daniel!" Cassie rebuked him, hands on her hips. "What's the point of hiding if you're outing me clear across the mall?"

"What do you expect me to do when you disappear like that?" He returned, more angry than worried now that he'd found her. "Just call it a day and go home? How did you even get in here? I don't think it's a public space."

"Same way you did," Cassie shrugged, "this lady saved me from life-ending humiliation."

For the first time since he'd landed in a heap in the small room, Daniel noticed the other person in the room, a gorgeous woman with long black hair and dusky blue eyes, smirking quite confidently for someone in an elf costume.

"Obviously you have no sympathy for the social plight of a young girl." She remarked, revealing an alluring mix of a British accent and something else riding on a roughened yet soothing voice. He was stunned for a moment but quickly recovered.

"Obviously you aren't aware of the child kidnapping charges in the United States." He returned, tugging Cassie to his side.

"She didn't kidnap me," Cassie glared at him, pushing away, "she saved me!" The woman sent him a smug look and he glared at her again.

"Look, Cassie, I was trying to indulge you but sooner or later you're going to have to learn that you can't live your life based on what people might or might not think of you." Daniel informed her, hoping that some good sense might stick. Instead, she sent a "Can you believe him?" look to the mysterious kidnapper who shook her head in agreement: Men are useless. With a restless huff, Daniel put his foot down. "We're going back out there and you're taking that picture, Cassie."

"You can't make me!" She threw back at him, eyes welling up, and moving towards the woman she didn't even know for support.

"Isn't she a little old to be taking a picture with Santa? Or is this some twisted child rearing tradition you Americans have thought up?" The elf goaded him, her large blue eyes laughing at him.

"My mother just hates me." Cassie said, sniffling. "And Daniel hates me more. They want me to suffer." Ludicrous or not, Daniel's heart still tore a bit and he might have relented had that woman not been shaking her head again in disapproval.

"Neither of us hate you, Cassie." He ground out though he would have liked to sound more reassuring. "Your mother just wants as many childhood memories of you before you grow up and have your own life."

"I'm not a kid anymore!" She almost yelled, a tear coming down her cheek. "And I won't have a life if I do this."

"Is that all she wants, then?" The woman interjected. "Your mother. She wants pictures of her little girl as a child?"

"I guess." Cassie mumbled harshly.

"Well then, my darling, you must take this picture." She informed the young girl whose face now reflected a deep sense of betrayal.

"What?"

"Listen to me," the elf woman soothed, crouching her impressive height over to wipe the tears from Cassie's cheek. "You must prove to your mother that you are no longer a little girl. Mothers often have a hard time realizing it so you must show her with great enthusiasm."

"How does that mean I have to take the picture?" Cassie asked dubiously for both herself and her confused honorary uncle.

"It's means, darling, that you must be very brave and show your face out there as if nothing in the world could knock you down." The seemingly wise elf explained. "It is the young children and babies that squirm and try to run away when we take their pictures. Mature young ladies like yourself wouldn't dream of showing such discomfort." Daniel felt a small smile overtake his lips as he finally saw Cassie listening to reason.

"I guess I can do that." She said desolately. "But school will suck when everyone finds out."

"Nonsense," the woman was quick to reassure her, "nobody will find out because nobody will see any Cassandras anywhere." With that, the woman produced an elf hat similar to hers, small bell on the top and all, and plopped it down on the unsuspecting girl's head.

"I don't get it." Cassie admitted, looking up at the floppy green hat she was wearing.

"Neither do I." Daniel chimed in, earning himself an amused look from the crouching woman.

"This is the plan." She exclaimed confidently. "Cassandra here will camouflage herself as an elf to avoid the destruction of her teenage life, and she can help me in Santa's throne room while you," she jerked her head in Daniel's direction, "wait in line for your turn. Then when you take the picture in elf garb, you'll show it to your mother and proudly proclaim that, as it was the absolutely, very _last_ time you'd be taking a picture with dear old Mr. Claus, you decided to go all out. And that will be that."

"I'm not sure I like this." Daniel weighed in hesitantly. Cassie, however, was all smiles.

"I do! I love it!" She pronounced, almost jumping on the spot. "I think it's perfect! Pleeeaaase, Daniel?"

"Yes, _Daniel_, pretty please?" The woman reiterated, a little more suggestively than necessary, prompting Daniel to quickly acquiesce simply to get her gaze off him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Cassie said, hopping over to hug him before quickly running back to the elf for her instructions.

"I'll just...wait outside." Daniel announced but received no reply. Apparently he had been needed for his permission alone.

He stood outside Santa's shed for almost ten minutes before the door opened, releasing the elf woman back into the public. She closed the door gently, and propped herself on the wall beside him.

"She's done the makeup and ears, she's just getting dressed now." She said, a pleased smile on her full lips.

"Oh, kay," he replied lamely, "you had something in her size?" He asked, trying not to sneak a peek down to her own uniform that hugged her curves not indecently but...nicely.

"Of course," she said, her smirk telling him his sneak peek hadn't been sneaky enough, "we often have volunteers of all ages working here."

"Oh, good." He said, again wincing at his eloquent small talk.

"I'm Vala, by the way." She grinned, holding out her hand. "Vala Mal Doran."

"Oh, I'm...Daniel. Jackson." He returned, quickly moving to shake her hand, hoping he was imagining his own's clamminess. Whether he was or not, she made no sign of noticing it. "That's an unusual name." He remarked.

"Maybe for you," she retorted cheekily, "I've grown quite used to it."

"I mean-" He tried to backtrack but she laid one delicate hand on his arm and he lost his train of thought.

"I know, I was just teasing you." She assured him. "It just seems so easy. Are you normally so easy?"

He decided against answering the possibly loaded question and instead turned his attention to the still unimaginably long line and to the Santa Claus who'd been operating without an elf for the past half hour.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"What?" She asked appearing clueless. "Helping Santa or helping hapless men through the challenges of life?"

"I am not hapless." He defended himself. "I'm just not used to dealing with teenagers."

"Which is what makes you hapless." She poked him, quite pleased with herself. "But if you were asking about the other thing, as far as I can remember."

"So not a quick cash venture for the season." Daniel observed, a bit surprised.

"Not quite, no. I have _other_ means for that." Vala declared somewhat mysteriously. "But when I was a child, my mother worked every holiday season in a Christmas-themed park back home. When she died, it was a November, and when the park went up for the season, I couldn't stay away. I signed up to volunteer and have ever year since."

"I know what you mean." He told her, something inside of him. "My parents took me on digs as a child and after they died, I never felt so connected to them as when I was on a site."

"Exactly." Her smile warmed him and the moment froze them in a bubble of understanding and compassion until the cry of a baby frightened by the large man in red broke the spell.

"The line is only growing, you know." Vala remarked to dispel any lingering awkwardness.

"Well technically, Cassie and I should be about third or fourth in line right now." He pointed out. "We were behind that woman with the triplets."

"Oh, so sorry, Daniel," she mock-sympathized, "I'm afraid I can't in good conscience let you cut the line. What kind of holiday spirit would that be?" Daniel sent her a sidelong glare.

"Don't look at me like that, you're making Cassie suffer, you might as well get a taste of it." Vala said with a laugh. "It is the parent's curse."

"I'm not her parent," he pointed out smugly, "I'm just doing her mom a favour because she had to pull a double shift at the hospital."

"Is that right?" Vala asked with a grin, inching slightly closer to him than socially necessary. He didn't notice though, not at all. Not a little bit. On an unrelated note, it seemed to be getting hotter in the mall.

"I should...probably get um...get in line," he announced with a shaky grin, "we'll be here all day otherwise."

"I don't think I'd mind." Vala told him, her head tilted sideways like she was picturing it. Daniel threw her a smile but left the shed to head for the back of the line, realizing as he went that he actually wouldn't mind either. What started out as a day from hell had mellowed out into quite a pleasant adventure. Speaking of which, just as he parked himself back in the nosebleed section of the mall to await their turn, Cassie the Elf emerged from the shed, a small replica of her mentor. She had the pointy ear prosthetics, the complete green, red and gold outfit down to the pointy shoes. On her cheeks were two spots of red apparently requisite for the younger elves, and her hair had been quickly curled at the tips and put into pig tails, just like Vala. In short, she was completely adorable, but Daniel felt that might break the idea of maturity should he ever tell her.

Vala took her under her wing and showed her where the candy canes were to distribute at the end, how to take the rattley toys to distract and cheer up the younger kids, and mostly how to keep smiling and distributing the joy of Christmas. In no time at all, she was a pro, and by the time Daniel finally got to the front of the line, she showed no indications of wanting the afternoon to be over. It was quite a transformation.

"Are you ready, Cass?" He asked, bemused as she shook the loud toy and made funny faces for the baby taking the picture before her.

"I am if you are!" She replied perkily to his confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked hesitantly, looking over to see Vala trying to appear entirely too innocent.

"Well Vala pointed out that since you were the one waiting for so long and you're mature like me, that you should be in the picture too and I think she's totally right." She informed him matter-of-factly.

"Oh she did, did she?" Daniel intoned, shooting her a decidedly unhappy glance before smirking. "Well I think Vala is just as mature and she's been such a help that she should be in the picture too."

To his great displeasure, Vala sincerely replied, "I would love to!"

"Yes!" Cassie cried, delighted and running over to the Santa she had so dreaded when she woke up that morning. Hours later, when the gang took their first glance at the picture, all they saw was Daniel, Santa, and two of his elves. Needless to say, the picture would be copied and framed.

When the moment of horror was over and Cassie had fulfilled her daughterly obligations, she unexpectedly begged Daniel to stay for the entire shift and he couldn't find it in himself to deny her. Especially not when it was an opportunity to volunteer. And the fact that Vala was staying on until the end of the shift and wasn't very busy since Cassie had taken over wasn't at all...oh who was he kidding, it was definitely a factor. A factor he well exploited as they talked about everything and nothing for the remainder of the hour until 5pm.

He resumed his position against the wall of Santa's Shed as Cassie and Vala changed out of their uniforms and was using the time to frantically think of a reason to spend more time with the dark-haired elf when he spotted a vigorously waving hand out of the corner of his eye.

"Hi..Santa." Daniel waved back uncertainly.

"Dr. Jackson, it's me!" The man said, his voice much higher than it had been most of the afternoon. Daniel tried to wracked his brain to try to think of when he might have met a Santa when the man pulled off his hat, wig and beard.

"Bill?" He exclaimed with surprise, recognizing Sam's colleague from the university.

"Yeah!" The short man enthused with a wide smile. "I wanted to say something before but I couldn't break character with the kids around."

"Sure." Daniel agreed slowly.

"So I noticed you're a little sweet on Vala." Bill winked at him, making Daniel realize that he really was the perfect person to play Santa. There was a twinkle in his eye and he was easily flustered so his cheeks were always red.

"I wouldn't say that." He demured.

"I would." Cassie teased him, coming out of the shed in her normal clothes.

"As would I." Vala herself added, right behind her prodigy. Daniel had to note that her civilian clothes suited her quite...

"Darling, you're staring." Vala stage-whispered loud enough to set Cassie off giggling and Bill to grin insufferably.

"Right," Daniel announced, shaking himself out of his stupor and clapping his hands, "I think it's high-time we get you back home."

"Oh but don't forget this." Vala told Cassie, handing her a sheet of paper which she showed to Daniel.

"It's a permission slip to volunteer here on the weekends. Think my mom will let me?" She asked excitedly.

"I'm sure she would be very proud of you for volunteering here." Daniel assured her, causing her smile to grow.

"And Vala is here every weekend too so it's gonna be super awesome!" Cassie continued, practically bouncing off the walls with glee.

"Yeah," he said smiling, looking at Vala, "that is 'awesome'. Her mom works a lot of weekends though, at the hospital, so I guess I'll be stuck bringing her here."

Vala tsked sympathetically and shook her head. "What a drag."

"Yeah." He repeated, still smiling.

Bill, who had watched the sad attempt at flirting, decided it was time of a man of experience such as himself to intervene. "I invited Vala to come to the faculty party at the university too so you two will see each other there." He announced, patting Daniel on the back before saying his goodbyes and leaving for the day.

"Then I will see you, Cassandra, on Saturday." Vala said, accepting the young girl's hug. "And I will see your charming uncle on Friday." She stuck out her hand to shake Daniel's and pulled him ever so slightly closer to her to say, "I've never been so excited to go to school," before releasing him and leaving her two new friends.

As Cassie chattered away about how fun today was and how cool Vala was, Daniel's thoughts were throwing him for a loop. Since when had he been concerned over whether or not the faculty party had enough mistletoe?

* * *

**Happy Holidays, everyone!**


End file.
